Digging Deep into the Purpose of Purpose

“The only meaningful life is a life that strives for the individual realization — absolute and unconditional — of its own particular law. To the extent that a man is untrue to the law of his being, he has failed to realize his own life’s meaning.” – C.G. Jung, Vol. 17, Par 310

Who am I? What is my purpose?  

Bernard Roth, Stanford University Professor,  tells a story in his book The Achievement Habit about how a young woman changed her perspective on her low-paying restaurant job and found meaning and purpose. 

The young woman was very dissatisfied with her job. She was solely focused on the pay and the lack of opportunities.  In this mindset, she found herself resigned to the circumstances of her life and became depressed. It was difficult for her to get out of bed in the morning because of a resignation that kept her stuck in her circumstances. One day she had a breakthrough.  She expanded her perspective to focus on how her job impacted the people she came in contact with.  She saw herself as someone who could positively impact people’s lives. She changed her attitude and created purpose in the opportunities to connect with others, brighten their day, and provide excellent service. She found a sense of purpose and fulfillment in her work, despite the low pay.

Simon Sinek, in his online course Finding Your Why tells the story of how he fell out of love with his work.  On the surface, everything was fantastic. He was living the dream.  But he lost the connection to why he was doing what he was doing and then presented that everything was fine. The result was he fell into a bit of a depression. He knew what he did and how he did it, but he didn’t know why he did what he did.

Consequently, he did a deep dive into why he did what he did.  He found his why.  Simon talks about the renewed passion that he experienced in his life.  It gave him a reason to get up in the morning.  He went on to write Find You Why and created the Golden Circle, shown here.  At the centre of everything that we do is why we do what we do.  It is this WHY that provides inspiration, motivation and energy for life.  

(see Simon’s Ted Talk)   https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action  

Why? 

How? 

What?

These questions have been coming up frequently in my conversations with people. Major questioning happens after a parent dies or after battling major complexes and wounds. We feel empty, especially if our identity has been wrapped in outer circumstances. Like the woman in Bernard Roth’s story, she focused on how and what she was doing.  She didn’t know why she was doing it. It left her life hollow and meaningless.  Without a focus, battle to wage, self-esteem to redeem, or parent to care for, the question of purpose comes up to be examined. 

Personally, I  have been thinking about these questions of purpose and focus.  If I am not what I do for a living, then who am I? After hitting a major milestone birthday, I am aware that there is a psychological transition happening. I am questioning and wondering what the next phase of my life might bring. 

I believe that the questions of “Who am I, what do I want, and what is my purpose?” are questions that we need to ask periodically to keep ourselves connected with the soul, the life-giving waters of the psyche.

Our feelings determine our WHY 

We think that we make decisions rationally.  We have all sorts of rationale for doing what we do.  

This is false. 

Almost all decisions are influenced by our feelings and our limbic system. The limbic brain is responsible for all our feelings, such as trust and loyalty. It is also responsible for all human behaviour and decision-making.  

This emotional part of the brain influences intuitive or gut-level decision-making. Emotions and visceral reactions can provide quick assessments of situations, guiding decisions before a more deliberate cognitive evaluation occurs. 

We decide, and then we determine why we did what we did.  

So many people are disconnected from their feelings and the soul.  This comes from early childhood wounds where our feelings were dismissed.  We then become disconnected from the living giving waters of what gives up meaning and purpose.   It means that we focus on decisions with only the rational part of our brain. Paralyzing overthinking is the result. 

Living Life on Purpose 

The word “purpose” has its origins in Latin. It comes from the Latin word “propositum,” which is the past participle of the verb “proponere.” “Proponere” is a compound of “pro,” meaning “forth,” and “ponere,” meaning “to put” or “to place.” So, etymologically, “purpose” is connected to putting forth or setting forth a goal or intention. Over time, the word evolved to be deeply rooted in the idea of intention, aim, or objective, reflecting the original sense of setting forth a goal or plan. In this way, it is connected to having an outer aim, goal or intention.  

According to Michael Meade, mythologist and storyteller,  Ancient Greeks used the word “telos” to refer to the dynamic purpose encoded in the soul.  The term “telos” encompasses the idea of an ultimate goal, end, or purpose toward which everything strives.  For Aristotle, each entity or system in nature has a telos, a purpose or end that it naturally seeks to achieve. The old sense of telos as the inner center included a blueprint, which involves an inner woven sense of meaning and purpose set within each soul. 

In The Soul’s Code, James Hillman talks about telos as our calling, the reason why we are here.  We are here to realize our uniqueness and how we cultivate the connection to our essential character and nature.   This is the straight connection with the purpose of life and the soul.  

Life purpose gives us a place to be with ourselves and gives us ways to respond to critical life transitions. It is the soul-making process where we embark on the spiritual journey of becoming more authentically and genuinely ourselves. This is the cultivation of purpose that adds presence to life and meaning to the world.

How do we work with purpose at a feeling level?  

According to Bernard Roth, it is so easy to start with the solution.  Our minds are so quick to do this. 

We are used to instant and impulsive gratification, which is supported by the current state of social media.  If you have a problem, we then jump to a solution.  It is easy to get too focused on the external circumstances that need to change.  

According to Roth,  we must change how we perceive the obstacles and challenges in our lives.  Often, we need to address the real problem.  To find the real problem, we need to step away and look beneath our quick, knee-jerk solution.  

To do this, we must connect to our feelings and actual needs and wants.   

This gives access to our soul and to where we are being called.   Often it doesn’t mean a change in our circumstances. The purpose is not about our job, how much money we make or getting through our to-do list.  If we focus on this level of purpose,  we lose the connection to soul and life as an evolving series of adventures.  

Living a purposeful life is then about cultivating intention, asking how we want to be today and how we can cultivate certain qualities in our relationships and activities.  This might be how we live purposefully – cultivating devotion, trust, loyalty, compassion and empathy.  

Christina Becker
November 2023

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