“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” – C.G. Jung
Why do we do the things we do?
Have you ever taken a moment to think “Why am I doing this?” Do you remember your days? Are you feeling bored with life?
Most of us operate on autopilot. Our days fly by. Our lives are so busy that we forget to check in with ourselves. According to a 2010 study published in Psychology Today, we spend close to 50% of our days on autopilot. Some days it could be almost 96%. Human beings are creatures of habit. It is more secure to structure our day according to our routines and habits.
Science shows us that we make 35000 decisions every day. WOW, that is a lot of brain power. It would take a lot of time to consider every one of those 35000 decisions. It is, therefore, natural to save brain power and figure out a way to automate the decision-making process so that our conscious mind can work on bigger problems.
“Autopilot has gone from being an evolutionary protection mechanism that stopped our brains overloading, to our default mode of operating whereby we sleepwalk into our choices,” says Dr. Mark Williamson.
He has a good point. We can lose our connection to why, to purpose and meaning. What gives us life? We can find ourselves “going through the motions”, and a loss of meaning. Or struggling with the disturbing reality that how we live our life has fallen out of step with our values and desires. In other words, life is flat.
Drivers of Behaviour
What determines why we do the things we do? According to behaviour psychologists, we want pleasure or avoid pain.
We are born with certain inborn physiological, self-preserving drives, such as the drive for hunger, thirst, etc. These are drives that are needed to maintain our physical body. These are the primary instinctual drivers of human behaviour.
Some drives are influenced by society and culture. These drives are social approval, deadlines, obligations, fear of loss, and living according to the expectations of others. C.G. Jung would consider these as ego drives.
He also believed that our psyche has an energy that wants to flow in a particular direction. He identified this as libido, and the path that libido wants to go is toward wholeness. He goes on to say, “ Man develops from an egg, and develops into the whole man; that is the law that is in him.”
This natural path can be interrupted by unconscious complexes that drive our behaviour unconsciously by influencing our perspective and interpretation of events. As Jung also said, “It all depends on how we look at things, and not they are in themselves”
How is just as important as the what!
Being aware of the how and the internal energy that drives behaviour is an especially important part of the path of awareness or cultivating consciousness.
You know the feeling of being on the receiving end of someone’s rant or anger. The words seem reasonable but the energy behind the words speaks to something entirely different.
Then, there is the socialite who volunteers her time towards good causes not because she genuinely wants to help people, but because she wants approval or accolades from her family and friends. On the surface, her action seems authentic until you dive a little deeper and find the true driver.
Central to the question of living a meaningful life is to ask ourselves what is the motivation and/or purpose behind our actions and behaviour. Stopping to ask this question and then evaluating the importance of the answer can enrich and enliven our lives.
According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, when we take care of our self-fulfillment needs including personal growth, the search for meaning and purpose becomes highlighted.
Slowing down time? Trying shaking things up.
The other danger of being on autopilot is that the speed of life increases. Life passes you by. Research has proven that the passage of time is related to the amount of new information and stimulation. When we are young, everything is new and our brain has more to process and to take in. Thus the perceived passing of time feels longer.
If everything is the same, when our life is routine or when we are stuck, then life passes by more quickly.
If you want to slow down time, focus on having new experiences. Shake it up, move out of your comfort zone, or take on a new habit.
Christina Becker
July 2023
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