Are you a victim of life?

Linda (not her real name and a composite client) struggles with the effects of her traumatic past. She is devoted to her spiritual practice, her faith and her relationship to the divine. Yet, during our conversations, she falls into the victim role, unable to look at life as anything other than obligation and duty. Her victim perspective shows up as self-blame for horrible life events and in a resignation that she is beyond help. Nowhere in her world view is the possibility for the divine to redeem her. She exhibits a false modesty while she lives in fear of revealing her true self. She is unable to see the gifts of the wisdom that her suffering has given her. She loses out on the possibility of depth and meaning to her experiences.

One day, a colleague brought an article from a local paper into her office. On one of the back pages in the lifestyle section, a headline screamed to be paid attention to “Does life happen to you”. Linda was intrigued. She read the article and she realized that life shows up in exactly how she saw it. If she adopted a woe is me attitude, then all she would experience was how powerless she was to change anything. She wasn’t able to be an agent in her own life and be adopting a passive and resigned stance. She had no goals, no aspirations, and no dreams. Life was experienced as something that she had no say in and that happened to her.

“It all depends on how we look at things, and not on how things are in themselves.” This is one of Jung’s famous quotation. He was a pioneer in recognizing that it is our attitude and our approach that contributes so much to the experience of life.

Linda did not have to live her life as if it was something that happened to her. In shifting the way that she looked at her life and knowing that her thoughts influence her quality of life, she realized that she could take control of her life and become a spiritual warrior.  The term spiritual warrior comes from Tibetan Buddhism. It denotes someone who actively battles self-ignorance that arise in the form of fears, lies, limiting beliefs and judgments that directly cause unhappiness.

Being a Spiritual Warrior

When we are being a spiritual warrior, we are in a constant search for TRUTH and CLARITY. We embody courage as we actively confront the lies of the mind, limiting beliefs, interpretation, and stories. In Linda’s past, it is true that things happened that were very hurtful. However, her limiting belief was that she can never change and the resignation that life events keep her isolated, alone and unhappy.

Awareness or consciousness is the goal to embracing being a spiritual warrior. According to the Buddhists, awareness embraces the truth of what is so.

How do you approach life?

Our beliefs about life are so powerful. They form a lens through which we view the world. Is your glass half empty or half full? Do you see life’s hurts as an opportunity to confront your fears and insecurities or as excuses to hide away from the world?

No one can escape life’s hurts. Children are wounded. People die. Relationships are lost. Loss and tragedy are part of the human condition. Hurt is inevitable. If we allow life’s disappointments and hurt to languish in our psyche, we risk ill health and the loss of the very things that we hold dear.
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To master life, we must learn how to survive its twists and turns, good and bad. We must become spiritual warriors and find the gold in the manure pile. We learn to trust the deeper intelligence of our lives.

Many spiritual traditions echo what scientists are discovering at the quantum level of our universe. There is one source, a unified intelligent field that connects all things. This field, energy, whatever you want to call is visioned by the science as a magnet pulling people together and asking us to connect our higher self.

Questions for Reflection

1. Is there a past hurt in your life that you haven’t been able to let go of? If so, what is holding you back or hindering your progress forward?
2. Would you consider yourself a “half glass full” or a “half empty glass” type and why?
3. How do you find positivity in times of crisis and chaos in this world?

If you found this blog helpful to your journey, do me a favour and share it on your social media by clicking on the social media icons below.  If you have a comment, consider emailing me or leaving a comment below.

Christina Becker

April 2019