“The secret is that only that which can destroy itself is truly alive.”  ~ C.G. Jung, Dreams

Grief is what makes life worth living 

The Buddha teaches that everything changes and life is impermanent. From the largest phenomenon in the universe to the smallest, everything moves and changes. Everything begins and ends.  

Even our daily lives ebb and flow and participate in the process of change  – loss of the sun descending behind the horizon signaling the end of another day, the loss of a dream that has slipped through our fingers, the loss of a physical capacity, or the loss of a job or a relationship.  

Without acknowledging loss and the ending of things, we forget how to embrace the depths. Without acknowledging the grief that exists, we can’t expand into joy’s great spaces. Without being reminded of how fragile our physical self is, we can’t ever know how strong our bonds are.

 

Soul’s Perspective on Death 

There is nothing as powerful as the death of someone close to us. Death opens a sacred place where we ponder questions of meaning, and the mystery and the worth of life. 

Jung says, “The goal of the second half of life is death. When death confronts us, life always seems like a downward flow, or like a clock that has been wound up and whose eventual “running down” is taken for granted. We are never more convinced of this “running down” then when a human life comes to its end before our eyes, and the question of the meaning and the worth of life never becomes more urgent or more agonizing”. (Vol 8 para 796)

Jung reminds us that life is an energy process that is irreversible. It is a law of nature that is irrefutable. There is no going back. There is only a journey towards an inevitable end, a goal. That the goal is the ending. He wrote that the natural flow of life is the nourishing soil of the soul.

At the level of the soul – the place of the eternal – there is no limitation of time and existence. Even while our body – the vessel which carries our life energy – breaks with the pain of disease. According to the Cheyenne medicine men, “spirit comes to earth to learn the things of the heart through touching”.

It doesn’t seem the soul is concerned with the death of the body. Analyzing dreams at an impending death reveal images of transformation, rebirth, and journeys. For some spiritual tradition, the goal is home, a return to the after life. Jung observed that psyche is much more concerned with how we die and whether we approach the end with an attitude of acceptance or resistance.

The Griefwalker, Stephen Jenkins writes, “grief is the sign of life stirring towards itself. It is an awakening of the soul wanting to have a full experience of life in death. Grief calls us into a deeper experience of life”.

Accepting grief is core to the spiritual path 

Buddhism also offers the notion of Dukkha suffering, that is, suffering that is self-created. This kind of suffering arises when we resist what is and how life is unfolding. Instead, we grasp on to false senses of security or we use other techniques to by-pass our pain. 
If you like to complete the course and this is just the right choice for you. cipla tadalafil 20mg Herbal tadalafil cheap online is one of the best male enhancement method because thousands of men have profited enormously from it. This is brand viagra prices the reason that an injury in this area can have wide-ranging effect. Rather, it is the game online prescriptions for cialis between two happy partners.
Most of us will fight reality and the inevitability of loss because it awakens our deepest vulnerability.  

We are very clever in our strategies to avoid pain and to accept what is – denial, rationalization, depression, avoidance of our feelings, and grasping on to what was. 

The failure to acknowledge this inevitability can turn into a fear of life – neurotic resistances, depressions and other psychological distresses as if some aspect of our lives remains stuck in the past and refuses to acknowledge the present and acceptance of what is. For some, addictive behaviour becomes the way to avoid our feelings. Fear becomes our way of being. Our ego will assert its perceived dominance by trying to make life’s forward movement stand still. To stop us in our tracks. We hold on to what was and to the past and refuse to live in the present. 

The celebration of a life well lived becomes the mirror of our own regrets and a confrontation with our fear of death reveals the truth about our own fear of life. We can be painfully reminded of those moments when we have shrunk from taking a risk or to participate fully in life.

In one of her podcasts, Tara Brach tells a story of Ajahn Chah, a Theravadin Buddhist monk. In this story he talks about the perspective and the spiritual attitude to loss and inevitable death.  

“I love this glass. It holds water admirably. When the sun shines on it, it reflects the light beautifully. When I tap it, it has a lovely ring. Yet for me, this glass is already broken. When the wind knocks it over or my elbow knocks it off the shelf and it falls to the ground and shatters. I say of course. But when I understand that this glass is already broken, every minute with it is precious.“ 

In memory of John Adams Becker, 1932 – 2010 and Paul Frederick Becker, 1964 -2020. 

Copyright Christina Becker
November 2020

Have you found value here? Have you been inspired or moved?  Please consider sharing the post on your social media networks by using the buttons below.

I love to hear your comments and ideas. Use the comments below or send me an email.