How Do We Change?

“We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate it, it oppresses.”
– C. G. Jung

Being stuck in a rut

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a rut?

The habitual ways of thinking and behaving get stuck like a car in the mud. We try to get out only to find that our wheels sink deeper into our old ways.

Change is hard.

C.G. Jung so aptly said that psychological growth is a work against nature. We are always fighting the regressive pull of the unconscious that will swallow all our good intentions and keep us stuck

Biology and our hardwiring confirm that it is harder than we think to move through the habitual ways of being. In the book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself,” Dr. Joe Dispenza says that we unconsciously live by a set of memorized behaviours, thoughts, and emotional reactions. His metaphor is that these memorized states run like computer programs in the background of our psyche. It is much easier to do what we have always done because that is what we have always done.

This includes the stories that we tell ourselves and our beliefs about ourselves that usually originate from early childhood. These are the stories that we created for survival. Once we reach adulthood, these stories quickly lose their usefulness.

Impetus for Change

Sadly, we often are forced into a change process because of a crisis, trauma or another life challenge. Through this state of pain and suffering, we are propelled into an action that moves us out of the status quo.

It can prove painful when life rears its ugly head and says you must change.   In these circumstances, so much time is spent getting one’s head clear to do the necessary change work.

Usefully, however, the signals for change appeared long before the crisis occurred, and we ignored them.

We make this process easier; we must recognize that life is always changing, and we must change with it and with the evolving soul.

Neurosis and the need for Self-awareness

In his exploration of neurosis or psychological suffering, Jung saw it as a splitting of the personality that creates an inner conflict.   In his definition, our experience of dis-ease is usually a signal that we are out of sync with ourselves and our situation, creating tension in the psyche.

To truly change, we must actively engage with the unconscious and determine what needs our attention, what we have pushed away, and what wants to be known. The messages come in the form of compulsive behaviours, dreams, depression, anxiety, or other symptoms in the body and the psyche that tell us something is not right.

Neuroplasticity, the Power of intention and the Psyche

In many new thought spiritual traditions, there is the idea that we attract into our lives who we are, not what we want or don’t want. And the clearest way of understanding this is to look at the results of your life.

Are you consistently getting what you want from your life?

No?    Then the laws of the universe suggest that you need to check your ways of being, your beliefs, and how you think about your life.

Recently, studies in neuroscience have shown that the brain is changeable and that the brain can rewire and create new ways of thinking at any age. There is a natural neurological phenomenon in the brain that eliminates pathways that are no longer useful.

The implication is that we are hardwired to grow beyond our current limitations and conditioning if we work with our natural evolutionary processes.

The intention of how you want to change and what you want to change in your life is a powerful catalyst. However, it only works when our thoughts and emotions are aligned. The emotion connected with the intention is where the unifying field of head and heart work together.

Here is where the soul and imagination come into play.   We must embrace new experiences, new knowledge, and our dreams to change.   The psyche/soul doesn’t distinguish between what we experience in our outer world and what we create in our imaginations.

Let your imagination soar!

Thoughts and what we focus on matter – a lot!

Identity, Patience and Integrity are the keys

If we actively engage with the buried unconscious beliefs, thoughts, and judgements, we are involved in the deepest level of change – identity change, which is who we are in the world and how we are being.   The truth is that we come into the world with essential characteristics. These will not change, but how we relate to ourselves is subject to change. In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear talks about them as world views, beliefs, self-image, and judgements that we have about ourselves and others. He suggests that true behaviour change is identity change.

As we unearth them in an active process of self-reflection, we need to ask ourselves if these elements of our identity align with where we want to be. We can then say, “I am someone who . . .” and we name the thing that we are. The change then becomes who we are.

Changes we want to make in our lives require that we practice these changes daily. It is not a one-and-done experience. When we practice our intentions, then we are training our psyches and our bodies into a new way of being and a new way of processing our life.

To make lasting change, we need patience and integrity.

When we experience more peace and acceptance of ourselves, it is easier to stick with the changes we make.   We need the patience to stick with the little daily changes; these will turn into remarkable results.

Ask yourself: Do your actions align with your intention? Do your actions match your words?

If we are out of integrity with ourselves, we won’t be able to change. If we say one thing and do another, this will determine how successful we are in making the desired changes in our lives.

In closing, here is a fitting thought from Dr. Joe Dispenza: “When our behaviours match our intentions, when our actions are equal to our thoughts, when our minds and our bodies are working together, when our words and our deeds are aligned … there is an immense power behind any individual.” 

Copyright Christina Becker
April 2022

Have you found value here? Have you been inspired or moved?  Please consider sharing the post on your social media networks by using the buttons below.

I love to hear your comments and ideas. Use the comments below or send me an email.